Cousin to Moon's boyfriend. Too much like my younger one was.
Little Girl Lost
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Life's a Beach
You Are Determined |
 You do things your way, and you always get results. You'll work as hard and long as it takes. You are completely fearless. You refuse to let fear control you. You are proactive, and you try not to let anything slide. You avoid lazy thinking habits. You always have a way when your will demands it. You don't consider failure an option. |
Monday, July 11, 2011
110711 Moms
When Moon was a baby, Susan Smith murdered her two boys for the sake of keeping a boyfriend. I have a picture of baby Moon playing happily in front of a television that was showing the story. In 2001, Andrea Yates drowned four out of five of her children a mere 200 miles from were I live. Last week, the Casey Anthony trial ended with a verdict few, if any, liked.
Do people think that I am like those moms? When four-year-old Jovonie Ochoa of San Antonio died of starvation and his family went to trial, people looked at five-year-old Agent Em's skeletal form and glared at me. They compared her tiny body to Moon's tall plumpness, and asked me if I were feeding the younger. Any time my emotions surfaced, someone suggested counselling. Surely I was a danger to my own children! Someone actually went to my minister to say that I was ruining children's futures! Health and Human Services investigated me in 2005. It proved groundless. Last year, another agent told me that they had the power to take my children from me, even though they were now teens. All of this is based on isolated incidents and what other, infamous mothers have done! Meanwhile real crime slips through the cracks.
Ask my children what they think. Are teens supposed to act out? Are they supposed to lie? Are they supposed to yell at their parents? Are they supposed to do their best to break every law, rule, and guideline set by their parents and school officials? That would appear to be the norm. (I taught high school, remember?) Mine, however, respect and obey authority. If one or the other has a problem with a rule, we talk about it. My children talk to me. WHY IS MY METHODOLOGY SO WRONG?!
There is economic prejudice in this country. It is probably world-wide and crosses all time. Because I have a lack of money, it seems to be expected that I am a low-life, under-educated moron who cannot be expected to handle life as well as someone with a Phd who seldom if ever suffered a lack of any material object. Publicly, I am retreating back into my shell, and I don't plan to emerge until 2016, when the younger reaches age 18.
Do people think that I am like those moms? When four-year-old Jovonie Ochoa of San Antonio died of starvation and his family went to trial, people looked at five-year-old Agent Em's skeletal form and glared at me. They compared her tiny body to Moon's tall plumpness, and asked me if I were feeding the younger. Any time my emotions surfaced, someone suggested counselling. Surely I was a danger to my own children! Someone actually went to my minister to say that I was ruining children's futures! Health and Human Services investigated me in 2005. It proved groundless. Last year, another agent told me that they had the power to take my children from me, even though they were now teens. All of this is based on isolated incidents and what other, infamous mothers have done! Meanwhile real crime slips through the cracks.
Ask my children what they think. Are teens supposed to act out? Are they supposed to lie? Are they supposed to yell at their parents? Are they supposed to do their best to break every law, rule, and guideline set by their parents and school officials? That would appear to be the norm. (I taught high school, remember?) Mine, however, respect and obey authority. If one or the other has a problem with a rule, we talk about it. My children talk to me. WHY IS MY METHODOLOGY SO WRONG?!
There is economic prejudice in this country. It is probably world-wide and crosses all time. Because I have a lack of money, it seems to be expected that I am a low-life, under-educated moron who cannot be expected to handle life as well as someone with a Phd who seldom if ever suffered a lack of any material object. Publicly, I am retreating back into my shell, and I don't plan to emerge until 2016, when the younger reaches age 18.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
110710 Relaxed
For a brief period of time, I thought I could relax. I thought it was time to think about a serious relationship. I met a guy who decided to make time for me. We seemed to be matched. The girls said they had reached the point where they could handle the thought me dating. We made plans, and I shed some of my stress. This weekend, the girls wanted to go with a friend and her parents to the coast. It would be a three or four hour drive each way. They left at five in the morning, and were to be back before midnight, so I made plans to spend the day and late evening with my new beau.
During the week and on the weekend, I got hit with comments about my irresponsibility, my inconsistency, and my Pollyanna attitude about finding work. In particular, I had been hit with comments from other parents about my children. On Saturday, I called Moon only once, and asked how she was doing. I asked when they expected to be back, because she was in the care of a couple of adults, I relyed on their schedule. Then, I discovered that I did not have the current cell numbers of the adults! Moon called, but didn´t talk much because of poor reception, but she had said they were leaving at 9pm. Before it cut off, I told her to text me when she arrived in SA. She said that the dad would drive her to our home.
They were not here at midnight. I called Moon with no answer. I called Agent Em with no answer. I left messages. I called or left a message every half hour all night long. Finally, just after my 8am call, Moon called me. She explained that she had said that they were staying the night at her friend´s house before coming home in the morning. She had been so tired, they forgot to text me when they arrived. With the bad reception, I had not all heard all of that. I only heard the part about coming home. I had determined that I would not call the police until 9am, so it was good that she had awakened with my last call.
For a few hours last week, I had relaxed and didn´t keep all my focus on the girls. Now, my neck and shoulders have returned to feeling like teak mounted on mahogany. My personal life is going to have to wait a few more years, because my children come first.
During the week and on the weekend, I got hit with comments about my irresponsibility, my inconsistency, and my Pollyanna attitude about finding work. In particular, I had been hit with comments from other parents about my children. On Saturday, I called Moon only once, and asked how she was doing. I asked when they expected to be back, because she was in the care of a couple of adults, I relyed on their schedule. Then, I discovered that I did not have the current cell numbers of the adults! Moon called, but didn´t talk much because of poor reception, but she had said they were leaving at 9pm. Before it cut off, I told her to text me when she arrived in SA. She said that the dad would drive her to our home.
They were not here at midnight. I called Moon with no answer. I called Agent Em with no answer. I left messages. I called or left a message every half hour all night long. Finally, just after my 8am call, Moon called me. She explained that she had said that they were staying the night at her friend´s house before coming home in the morning. She had been so tired, they forgot to text me when they arrived. With the bad reception, I had not all heard all of that. I only heard the part about coming home. I had determined that I would not call the police until 9am, so it was good that she had awakened with my last call.
For a few hours last week, I had relaxed and didn´t keep all my focus on the girls. Now, my neck and shoulders have returned to feeling like teak mounted on mahogany. My personal life is going to have to wait a few more years, because my children come first.
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