141206 Race Rants

Why does this yelling about race so infuriate me? I know why. I can't talk about it. It sticks in my throat as the bile in my stomach threatens to erupt in a violent spew of disgusting matter. No one knows. Well, my little sister knows some of it, but she wants to talk about it as much as I do. We keep our mouths closed. Karnes City was a far, far better place than that from whence we came.

Sometimes, I want to record how daily I was threatened with bodily harm for being blond. I want to explain why I had to walk six blocks out of my way to get home from school. I want to reveal why I feared other children. Occasionally, someone left both physical and emotional scars with words, a ball, a fist, a wooden bat. I once feared for my life. Then, it doesn't matter. My narrative doesn't fit the race-baiters narrative. Speaking does no good. It doesn't change minds. No one cares.

Those people are somewhere else, and no longer scare me. Certain leaders call for a 'dialogue on race', but they don't want an honest discussion. They want to lay blame. They don't want to hear about the two-way street. They don't want to hear that success takes work. They don't want to hear about the Renewed Mind. (Romans 12:1-3)

Romans 12:1-3
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, your reasonable service. 
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 
"For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."

In other parts of the Word, the 'measure of faith' is all there is, so how can one think higher than everything? It is a figure of speech to emphasize that we don't think highly enough of what God gives. God is no respecter of persons, so race does not matter. God does not care what is on the outside. Is a person born again, or is that person an empty vessel?

The Word of God healed me. Even though I post stuff about race, I fight the bitterness of it. I want people to see that race doesn't matter. Investing in 'fairness' causes strife and envying. Life is not fair; it never has been, and it never will be. God is not fair. He withholds merited judgement from the guilty, and gives unmerited favor to anyone who is willing to receive it.

If God were fair, we'd all be dead -- for all have sinned an come short of the glory of God.

Aren't you glad that God wasn't fair?

140916 My Voice Came Back

On Monday, September 8, a friend left a message on my phone to call her. We connected on Tuesday. She asked me to sing at her wedding. Cool! Once before, I sang at a wedding, and I have sung with various amateur choirs before dozens, even hundreds of people. It was an honor to be asked.

Usually, I get significant notice before public singing. This wedding was on Saturday, September 13.

She needed my help and loved my voice, so we agreed on a song I already knew, and I practiced it. Friday night was rehearsal, but the song didn't fit. About 10pm, the minister called with a replacement song. He also informed me that I had to be my own accompaniment. Never before had I successfully sung and played the piano at the same time, and I had sixteen short hours to learn! To add to the stress, both of my girls had respiratory ailments. A scratch had invaded my throat.

This was truly an exercise in believing! Nothing can be accomplished without at least a kernel of belief. God strengthened me and helped me to rise above my fear.

Getting to the hall early, I familiarized myself with the electric piano. I worked out the cords for the left hand, since the music available to me was written for singing and had only the melody. I rested my voice by practicing sotto voice instead of from the diaphragm. When I felt confident enough, I found someone to minister healing to me for that irritated throat.

My throat ceased its clamoring. I was determined to bless my friends!

The time appointed arrived. With a mixture of friends and strangers before me, my heart played. 

♫"There's a peace in heart that the World never gave! A peace it cannot take away..."♪

Several people told me it was beautiful. God made it beautiful. He blessed me mightily.

140725 What Makes You Scream?

Diary: 140725

It just comes out: that ear-splitting, horror movie scream races through my throat to mobilize everyone in the house, sleeping or not. Three seconds of high pitched volume does more than any call to reveille. It gets the blood pumping.

It was a cockroach.

In South Texas, (thanks to Lackland AFB), our little house bugs are two to three inches long, as much as eight or nine centimeters! These Southeast Asian imports are quite at home here in our subtropical climate. Usually, bugs and mice enter a house looking for water, because food is plentiful outside, while water is scarce. No other bug affects me this way. I actually like spiders for their fly-killing ways.

Did you know that we have a snake? I love snakes. Three of North America’s poisonous snakes live in this area, and I know how to deal with them all. Most snakes avoid people, and disappear when they can. I simply allow them to do so. Many snakes are quite useful, because they eat things we don't want! Our ball python eats mice, which is the only other creature that causes me to scream. I need a pet that eats giant, fear-inducing cockroaches. What do iguanas eat?



**I sprayed the house with oils that are supposed to repel the giant beetles. When day comes, I plan to find what KILLS them.

1/2 Cup water
1/2 Teaspoon salt
5 Drops Cypress
10 Drops Peppermint

 

130529 Followings.

After much thought and a little sadness, I quit following certain people and pages. Last week, a certain teaching added the last bit of grain that tipped the balance. The teaching was on a small section of scripture in the Old Testament, concerning four Judeans in Babylon. Three of them are always mentioned together: Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. They must have been best buds in the sense that iron sharpeneth iron. Most Christians refer to them as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

These were real people. Real people who decided that obeying God was preferable to anything. They did not compromise, or make excuses. They decided that God would take care of them. They didn’t concentrate on their feelings. They didn’t concentrate on their believing. They concentrated on God.

The men who threw them into the fire, were killed by the fire, but these young men did not have even the scent of smoke on their clothes when they walked out of this furnace. In those days, and in that place, Babylon had the peak of technology and civilization under their control. This was a massive smelter. Nebuchadnezzar controlled incredible political power. Were they not afraid? No matter what they felt, they knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that their God was stronger than any government on earth.

This is why I decided that I must no longer read certain political blogs. They depress me and pull me away from the joy found in God’s Word. Knowing what goes on around me may be necessary, and I’ll find a news outlet, but reading about the horrible things people think and do has no place in my life. 1 Timothy 2:1,2 shall blend with Romans 8:26. I shall concentrate on the power of God and blessing people with it, and let politicians worry about the “he said; she said” debates. God will take care of His own.

120430 My One Fear

For years, my only fear was what this man went through. Ironically, now that my ex is gone, so is the fear.